This is an appropriate post for after Valentine’s Day, methinks… Alone, but surrounded by thirty long-stem read roses, each seemingly competing for reception on my olfactory nerves… my nasty mind wanders to the topic of porn.
[Note: For the record, I have never watched porn. Never wanted to… never will. Nuh, uh. Never, ever, ever…]
Excuse me kind sir, but have you seen my dick?
Big news, ya’ll!!! (In all senses of the word…) Recently, a very ‘prosperous’ porn star insured his penis for one million dollars. That’s a lot of change for one ‘member…’ The policy covers the “loss” of this junk, but alas, not any infections or injuries which may arise because of his “work.”
Aside from the John Wayne Bobbits of the world, I don’t know of any gentlemen that (accidentally or otherwise) lost his babymaker. But okay. If an insurance company deems it, I guess it can happen… Enjoy spending money on those premiums, dude!
So, of course, a male friend of mine and I proceeded to discuss other means of “porn insurance.” For starters, women definitely should be allowed to insure their hoo-has in case of “accidental loss” too, dammit. (Yeah…) And since the female stars seem to always wear stilettos during *ahem* their always-contorted “performance,” shouldn’t some form of eyeball insurance be afforded to the men “acting” with them? Because taking out a blinker may hurt as well…
I kinda need these things. Can you keep those stabby things away from by face? Thanks, hun...
And for people who prefer to conduct themselves off camera, (without getting too crude)… our premium list should include TMJ insurance, (any orifice) insurance, charley horse insurance, (and for you single people) blow up doll and toy insurance. Hey. I don’t discriminate.
I’m not saying anything… I’m just sayin…
(But of course, my friend doesn’t watch porn either. Neither of us knows WHAT we’re talking about…)
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