I have not done one of these gift idea lists for a long time. I’ve missed you, random blog post! I know other websites (read: Gawker.com et. al.) are coming out with their own Year End Lists. Here’s mine. For you and yours: the worst-est (yet, somehow brilliant) Christmas gifts you can buy someone online.
(Clicking on all pictures will take you to a purchase link. You’re welcome.)
1.) For the hated golfer in your life: Camouflage Golf Balls
I would give this gift to a golfer who brags endlessly about their game/stroke play. Let them stay at the first hole for a good, long while. Heck, with their luck… you may not see them for a few days.
Let me hear you say HALLELUJAH!
2.) For the Pet Lover in your life: Humping Dog Flashdrives
Your “dog,” in addition to humping your leg, can now make love to your computer’s USB port. Because you can’t embarrass holiday company enough… And BONUS! You can discuss the birds and the bees with your kids during the most special time of the year…
3.) For the Sports-Obsessed Jerk in your life: The Protoast Toaster
Do you know anyone that even OWNS a toaster? Be a doll and give one to them… so that they can have breakfast with their favorite sports team (eh, logo)
4.) So we don’t leave out our Jewish friends…
5.) For our (almost) geriatric “friends…” eh… acquaintances:
(Because carrying around a conspicuous box of tighty-whitees makes more sense than, you know… having a spare set of ‘roos handy.)
6.) And finally, for someone you really, truly hate. Submitted without commentary.