Six Things I Learned This Week: The We’re ALL Going to F*ING DIE edition* (8/26/2011)

Earthquakes and hurricanes: oh my! As most of you know, an earthquake rocked my world earlier this week.  And this morning, I learned that the Washington, DC metropolitan area is under a Tropical Storm Warning until further notice. Yup, our natural disaster threshold has apparently not been breached yet. All I can say to my Maryland brethren is to book your hotel rooms now; if Irene decides to assault us brutally, I’m 110% confident that you will lose power for days.  (Their power company, PEPCO is notorious for tripping every time there’s a puddle on the ground.)

Typical Washington Response

Typical Washington Response

So let’s start panicking now, and get on with this list before we all die of anticipation.


1.)  Disaster preparation is important.  I hated myself for going to the grocery store yesterday.  Yes, I stocked up on food for the weekend.  Observing my fellow shoppers, I can safely say that water, batteries… and yes, the dreaded TP, will be in short supply over the next couple of days.   I will also make sure my cell battery’s fully charged before Sunday… in the event that we do lose power – it may be my only link to the outside world.

The best natural disaster preparation tip came courtesy of my brother, who was without power and water for several weeks when a hurricane hit Houston, Texas a few years ago.  He had the foresight to fill his bathroom sink and tub full of water beforehand.  For several days, this water was used to brush his teeth, bathe and flush the toilet.   Depending on what track Irene takes over the next 24 hours, I will probably do the same.  Now on to more miscellaneous thoughts….

2.)  A sprained ankle takes a long time to heal.   I’m in week 3 of hell.  If I lived near the coast and was forced to evacuate, I wouldn’t be able to go very far.  **Sigh**  That’s really all I have to say about that.

No good can come of this...

3.) Washington, DC has the longest escalator in the Western Hemisphere.   If you have ever had the pleasure of taking our Metrorail and getting off in Wheaton, MD, you will spend years on the escalator coming to the surface.   Not good when you’re running for your life, trying to escape water pouring into the subway station, from say… a hurricane?

4.) Fun fact: Prolonged anorexia never leaves you.  You will forever have bony knees and hirsutism.   It’s your choice ladies… skinniness OR prominent facial hair.

5.)   Conservatives are happier than Liberals according to a study that came out this month.   Liberals care wayyyy too much about the little people; they get the sads every time they think about how the poor, well… stay poor.  Conservatives, on the other hand generally don’t give one flying fcuk about inequality.   Now that the income gap has grown due to our economy, the left wingers are markedly more upset than the right, and may throw themselves out of a window at any moment.

Depressed???  Hate Life????  Join the Tea Party. Cuz the par-tay don’t stop.

AND… Drumroll…..

No laser removal needed... yet

6.)  Steve Jobs is apparently God.  I shed an iTear when I heard he resigned as CEO of Apple, Inc.  Believe me, I understand why this news received so much press over the past couple of days: Steve Job’s genius MADE and SUSTAINED Apple for over 30 years!

In a nutshell, Steve Jobs was forced out of Apple in the 1980s.  And shortly afterwards, Microsoft took dominance over the PC Wars for many years with it’s Windows operating system platform.  Jobs came back, re-tinkered his company… and Apple took off in a big way again in the 2000s.   Good on him.

While I think Job’s vision and leadership was just what Apple needed to rise to the top again, I believe that an organization as big as Apple, Inc. is bigger than one man.   Lots of good, nerdy people work behind it.  And the news is not entirely unexpected; Jobs has been ill for years. In fact, the ‘new’ CEO, Tim Cook, has been running the organization de facto for years… and it hasn’t nosedived yet.  

Bill Gates left Microsoft and it magically survived.  Apple will do the same; they will continue to make your iPads and iPhones obsolete.  Trust..

*Credit for the title must go to my friend Jen, who came up with this brilliant headline for the weather calamity we are heading for this weekend.


About No Disrespect

A little schmuck in a big world
This entry was posted in Current Events, DC, Edumacation, Holy Cow, Life, Medical S**t, Oh The Humanity!, Political Shizz, Safety First!, Six Things I Learned This Week, Studies show..., technology and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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