Eight Stupidly Hilarious Things to do for S**ts and Giggles… (to me)

On the advice of someone recently, I started to think about and write down my strengths as a person. In addition to boosting the old self esteem meter, this list also helps when promoting yourself to the world. It’s good to know what you’re good at in advance, and how to articulate it. Or so I’ve been told…

My thoughts exactly

My thoughts exactly

But of course, I became distracted… As I went down memory lane, this exercise turned into something entirely different. Everybody has events in their lives that they laugh about later. These are mine.

So this idea isn't as original as I thought...

So this idea isn't as original as I thought...

1.) Bowling in my fanciest clothes (at the time)

I don’t think this was my idea, but I cosigned on it wholeheartedly. My High School Prom ended up being extremely boring – it felt like there were more chaperons than students in attendance. My friends needed something to do afterwards… something a bit less lame. Something that also didn’t involve making out and stuff, since most of us went stag. (We were NOT popular.) So why not go bowling in our prom dresses? So we piled into our respective cars, drove to the bowling alley, where amongst many stares, we proceeded to bowl a set.

(I think) we have photographic evidence. I haven’t seen them in years, though…

2.) Putting your grocery list to song, and singing it in public

I was a weird kid. My Mom once asked me to remind her to buy chocolate syrup and canola oil at the grocery store. I was at the time composing a tune for piano class, so I wrote some lyrics to the song as a goof. Mom and I went on her errands, and I proceeded to embarrass her by singing my stupid song as we went down each aisle. I still remember parts of the chocolate syrup song… “We’re at the grocery store, yup! Time to buy the chocolate syrup…”

Mom learned very quickly afterwards to keep a grocery list.


3.) (Attempting to) eat all three meals at an all you can eat buffet

So one day, because we had nothing better to do, my friends and I decided to spend an entire day at Golden Corral. We got there at 11 AM and had brunch. Around 1 PM we transitioned into a proper lunch. I was so stuffed by that point that I couldn’t even get a Diet Coke down the hatch. So I observed my friends’ gluttony. Management got wise to us by 3 PM though, and kicked us out. We’ll never know how this experiment ends.

4.) Putting a car in the living room as a prank

When I lived in New Zealand, we had one particular flatmate (i.e., roommate) that annoyed the living crap out of us. But she was the only one that had a car, so we put up with her personality flaws. Until one night, we had enough. Brilliant ideas come at 2AM, with some alcohol at play. What could we do to get her back?? Let’s just put her car in the house! She had a tiny, SmartCar type car, and our front door entrance had french doors, so it potentially could fit. So the girls moved around the furniture for space while six guys proceeded to LIFT UP THE m-fing CAR… and success! We had a car in the living room.

Imagine her surprise (and then anger) when she found out what we had done the next day. She made the guys move the car back out to the parking lot. And yes, we did have to forfeit some of our security deposit when we moved out… Apparently, a 1,000 pound car will leave a mark on the carpet.

5.) Singing an entirely different song than what’s chosen at karaoke night

I’m a famewhore at heart. I love to sing in public (see above). One of my favorite things to do is to choose a song off the playlist, and when it’s my turn at bat, sing another tune entirely while the chosen song is playing. Why does the crowd get so pissed off? Because they think I’m drunk? No… it’s probably because I sing Meatloaf… or some gawdawful horrible tune of the like.

6.) Crash a party where you don’t know anyone

This usually happens at the Fourth of July. If I have no preexisting plans, I wait until late afternoon, when parties are just starting to get crazy, and just join one of my neighbors’ festivities uninvited. I’ve actually made some friends this way.

7.) Have a meeting in an elevator
Okay, this was in college, and I was just being a fool. I called a meeting with my study group, telling them to come to my dorm hall. We proceeded to move some chairs into the elevator and held our meeting there. I think I love annoying and inconveniencing people… there was no room for anyone to get on said elevator when it hit their floor, so they had to take the stairs. Someone was so not impressed by our ingenuity. We were kicked out by our Resident Adviser thirty minutes later.

8.) Adopt a new accent for the evening

Mine’s Italian. I’m very good at imitating people and their accents generally.

If I’m having dinner by myself at a restaurant, sometimes I change it up by becoming an Indian-Italian. I must say, I have fooled lots of people in my time. My favorite thing to do is ask people if I sound okay “American,” and then proceed to say something veeeeeeeeery sllllllllllow in my regular voice. They’re always impressed. “Man, you can really speak English! Damn!”

The last time I did this was New Years Eve. My friend (also Indian) and I decided to be “Italian” together. I was able to blend in and impress the guys that like girls with an accent. My friend… well, she needs some lessons. But we still talk and laugh about it – if you’re going to have a crazy night, at least make it memorable.



About No Disrespect

A little schmuck in a big world
This entry was posted in Check Please!, Happy Happy!, Holy Cow, Life, Naughty!, Oh The Humanity!, Stupidity and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Eight Stupidly Hilarious Things to do for S**ts and Giggles… (to me)

  1. Pingback: Post #100(!) and one big royal f-… errr… Thank You! |

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