Recessionista’s List of Crap

I’m always astounded by how much people spend on their beauty products.  Full of chemicals, preservatives (and sometimes pee.  Ew.  All of you. )  The thing is, your Mom WAS right.  Sometimes, the crap that you already have at home is better at saving your skin than some of those expensive potions that you buy.   Not to mention that it’s as organic and natural as you can get.  Below, I’ve listed my seven best beauty “secrets” that I concoct from items already around my abode.  From my kitchen cabinet to yours…

Love, No Disrespect

Aloe Plant1.)  Everyone already knows about this tip:  one MUST keep an aloe plant in their house.  It’s cheap, pretty and apparently, loves to be abused.  (My plant has been around for several years… I’m not really sure why it’s still alive.  It gets watered only when I remember… usually about once a month.)  It’s a great salve for all the rough areas of your body (elbows, knees, etc.).  Yeah, and at this time of year, my plant looks pretty bare, because I sunburn easily.  No prob: tear off a leaf, squeeze the aloe out, and rub.  No more pain.


2.)  Another one passed down from your mother: OATMEAL!!!!  I am a shower as opposed to a bathtub person, so twice a week (more during the winter), I blender my oatmeal to death, mix with water to form a paste, and rub the concoction with a washcloth all over my body while I bathe.  I still can’t believe how soft my skin feels when I step out of the shower.  (Note: make sure you wipe down your tub afterwards and get everything down the drain.  There’s nothing like the stench of soggy oatmeal wafting through your house…)

Olive Oil3.)  Olive oil.   Besides being a great all-around natural moisturizer, I just recently learned that it’s a most excellent shaving oil.  Yesterday, I took a bowl of olive oil to my bathtub and shaved my legs with it.  No soap or shaving gel… just olive oil and a razor.

Conclusion: Absolutely no nicks.  And my legs still feel super soft today!  This one’s a keeper.  (As above, please wipe down your tub afterwards.  No slipping in your tub, please!)

Aspirin4.)  Aspirin.  This ranks as one of my favorite cheap fixes.  Aspirin is pure Beta-Hydroxy Acid (BHA), which is an ingredient that you can buy in very expensive acne medications…  or you can spend pennies for the real deal.  When I get a blemish, I crush a few un-buffered aspirin in a small bowl, mix with a few drops of water and some honey to form a mask, and apply on my face, paying particular attention to my pimples.  When you wash it off in 15-20 mins, you won’t believe how your face looks!  All pores shrink… and it just feels… so smooth!  And yes, I’ve found that my pimples go away quickly when I use this remedy.

Liquid Paper5.)  Whiteout.  It’s very rare that I go and have my nails done.  But when I do, I always get a French manicure.  It looks so sophisticated and chic!  But I always regret it afterwards… I hate that they chip so quickly.  In a pinch, just apply some whiteout to those areas, and they look perfect again!

6.)  Lavender essential oil.   Hate the smell of bug spray?  Just mix some lavender essential oil with olive oil and apply to your pulse points (e.g., neck, wrists, elbows, heart area, behind the knees) and your clothes… and not only do you smell good for the men, you’re a insect repellent as well!

7.)  But if you do get bit by said bug, use clear nail polish over the bite.  It won’t hurt anymore.


About No Disrespect

A little schmuck in a big world
This entry was posted in Beauty Tips, Edumacation, girl stuff, Happy Happy! and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Recessionista’s List of Crap

  1. Pingback: Recessionista’s List of Crap: Volume 2 |

  2. Pingback: Why it sucks to be a girl (sometimes…) | No Disrespect

What do ya have to say, suckas?!?!???

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s