Because our Capitalist society won’t quit, here’s some gift ideas for your loved ones. Viva Fourth of July!!!!
1.) DIY Fireworks!!!!
(Ed note: I disavow myself of any responsibility if you try this at home…)
2.) Let’s desecrate the American Flag by peeing on it….
3.) … or rubbing it against your no-no area.
4.) Match both with the American Flag beach towel to lay on, get sand into and wrinkle.
5.) Show your uber-patriotism by displaying the Declaration of Independence proudly… on your torso.
6.) Make sure the hummingbirds in your yard don’t feel left out…
7.) Finally, for the uncreative. Like me today, apparently. Buy meat. (Or Boca Burgers if you’re vegetarian.) Don’t go to BBQs empty handed. Serious faux pas.
Happy long holiday! We all deserve it!