As I wrote a few weeks ago, I am testing the waters in the Online Dating World. And I must say that I’m scared… I put up a very clear, engaging profile with a nice picture, and what I’m getting is a freakshow in my inbox.
What’s with the dudes that are emailing me? They:
1.) are mostly from India (even though I specified that I would not contact anyone from that region…);
2.) have their mug shots up (seriously, many look like serial killers)… and
3.) are wooing me with their bad English, international phone numbers (yes, they expect ME to call them), and… mustaches. I am sorry to say, but I will never be attracted to a man with a ‘stache… which will be a relief to my male cousins, I’m sure.
For your entertainment pleasure, here are my favorite responses:
||Hi I’m Looking For a Decent Life Partner in my life.
||Don’t get your hopes too high… Oh. Wait.
||I have A. D. D… if you ramble on, I will zone out
||I have ADD too… and have already bypassed your profile…
||Please spare yourself by trying to appease me with your achievements/diplomas & how much you value your independence and how driven you are… what you want to achieve..
||Duly noted. Next.
||she should be separagted, Divorced, unmarried and wiodow.
||I’ll get right on it. It may be a while though before I respond…
I’m only one for four
|E, 46, F, 31
||i generally dont disturb any one and i also dont want to disturb by any onei m so simpel dont like some one disturb me and i dont disturb any one
||I think they subscribe to the same newsletter
||I AM IMPORTER FOR USED JAPANESS CARS
||Did you import my friend’s [stolen] Lexus?
||I never had a girlfriend
||I’m looking for a partner. Tell you later.
||… no you won’t
||i dislike the wrong person
||Tell it like it is!
||i have no friend[s] now.
||Geez. I’m sorry. (Not really.)
||I’m loving caring gentelman live with my family.
||He’s 34. Ummm…..
AND MY FAVORITE!!
||i am searching a rich lady divorcee widow with whom i can spent my life i am ready to relocate with her i want be house man.
||Damn… He’s a winner!
I SO wish I could have made this stuff up, but folks, I attract the clowns in real life. It’s fitting that my virtual world contains them as well.
So the search continues…